I thought I would have a fabo long weekend filled with sex sex sex and more sex.
Instead what I got was sleeping alone alone alone alone alone, Piglet withstanding. I have a lot of thoughts going through my mind, especially with the way of things being the way they are now and why.
I wonder if I am that difficult a person to get along with. I wonder if my staunch and firm stance of being opened about my sexuality is actually THE downfall in a crap society like Singapore, where at least 80% of the gay population are still hiding behind closets. No doubt my family doesn't care about sexuality but because I spoilt my fur kid horrendously, no stranger can ever step foot into the house without being brutally attacked. And no I'm not kidding about the last bit.
Seriously this being open about myself has brought me nothing but misery, anger and in general usually one of the few reasons why relationships ended. It doesn't help too when I always get attracted to closeted idiots. In a nutshell, I'm just fucked okay?
I looked at friends who have boyfriends spanning over 5 and even 10 years and I wondered how they do it. And then I realise that most of them still live in the closet, or as far as possible, "don't ask don't tell" lifestyle. Is it really the key to success in a gay relationship in Singapore?
Then I wonder, how did they manage to have sex if they are so hushed hushed? To me, sex is important. No sex = no relationship. I have been there done that. I am absolutely not going to be in one without sex!
- Current Mood: moody
- Current Music:浜崎あゆみ - Rainy Day