With the slight improvement in our relationship, I figured also that the next step would be to "teach" Mr ICC the proper and ancient art of lovemaking.

Not divulging details here but it is clear that his idea of sex is very one sided, and it also involves getting into the main course as soon as possible. Normally I don't mind that, especially when it comes to FBs or ONS, but this is my BF! There is supposed to be all that romance shit and all that kiss foreplay crap!!! I don't like to jump straight into fucking when I am in love! Well... not that long foreplay that is... a nice interlude... you do the mental math!

However I recognise that such... "lectures" can be a little detrimental to the male ego, especially when your partner is the TOP or I should say fancies himself as the "man". While I am not an expert in sex, I dare to say that with my vast experience as a btm, I think I am a little qualified to teach tops a thing or two. 

So how do you broach such a subject in a relationship? Go "Honey... I'm sorry to say but I am a little unsatisfied with the way you make love to me" approach? Or the "Let me teach you how to properly do this!"? Do people in a relationship even talk about such a thing? Or is it a "love conquers all, including unsatisfying/lousy/inadequate sex"?

How do you do it? I would like to know. Especially from the btm/woman/not dominant aspect.

As you all know, Mr ICC, my BF is quite in the closet case type. For years, the BFF has bemoaned the fact that practically all my exes are closeted freaks while I grinned sheepishly. Yes I tend to be attracted to the closeted types for some strange reason, and thus generally I am never into most guys that the general masses seem to like. In fact the more stereotypically gay you are, the more I'm least interested; gym freak body conscious, vanity conscious, into Lady Gaga and GLEE etc. 

There can only be one Queen in a relationship thank you, and that has to be ME. 

So anyway throughout this over a year, I have "suffered" quite a lot due to Mr ICC's closetness, to the point where sometimes it exasperates me rather. Take for instance he is quite paranoid about being "discovered" that he won't even hold my hand in the mostly dark confines of the theatre, or within the safety of a taxi. 

I endured all these silently, waiting for a right time to voice it out, and of late I noticed his confidence level about relationship has increased. He can crack jokes about me dumping him, and vice versa, and overall I just sensed that he is gradually more comfortable, and thus I broached the subject.

Based on prior experiences where I voiced out what I don't like about him, his change would not be immediate. But he does know, and he will keep in mind, and gradually change. For the past few times when we catch a movie, I can blissfully hold his hand and savour in just being with him. 


Baby steps yeah. Just like I have "upgraded" from being Vivian in his mobile phone list to "DD", short for Dear Dear. 

Now you know my absence from Facebook, Livejournal, Twitter and others! 

Add me Vvruvrivvn#1638

Now level 24. 

:P

At the insistence of my "fans", here's the update on my threesome last night!

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I am not too sure if I have blogged about this before, but a thought struck me today after watching The Ugly Truth. 

Just as a recap in case any one of you did not watch that movie... it is about one of the most hotly talked about topic of men being more focused on the physical and women being more likely to focus on the feelings. While it is never safe to make the assumption of every single male and female behaving the same way, plenty of studies and research have thus shown that there is a degree of truth to it.

That is all fine and dandy when it comes to the straight people, but then what about us gay folks? How does this apply to us? Is the segregation of the sexes based on biological urges? If so, does that mean every gay men out there only cares about fucking the brains out of each other, while the lesbians practically smother each other with love, care, commitment magnified tenfold?!

Does the preference of being bottom plays a part too? Do bottoms correspond to the female in preferring to focus on feelings more? Based on personal experiences, and as well as from friends, I think being top or bottom has no bearing on this particular issue. Top or bottom, we just want one thing. 

In the movie, Gerard Butler's character told Katherine Heigl's character that it doesn't matter what shoes she wore, what perfume she puts, what coloured dress she wore etc. According to him, the straight men are more interested in her breasts and her ass. Naturally she was affronted but based on what I recall from my straight guy friends, it seems pretty much like this, though again I will say in defense that not every men think this way. 

So if we gay men are hot wired like straight men, there really isn't any need for us to doll up for our first date isn't it? All that bullshit about first impressions... we already want to fuck you or be fucked! It doesn't matter if you turn up in a Marc Jacobs suit or a Giordano tee shirt. While it may help, we're already fucking in our minds. You are already being undressed, thrown onto the bed and being fucked like the slut you are... in the mind.

I don't know how it came about, but my colleagues and I were talking about sleeping around and how many is considered a lot. One of the interns said that he used to be quite the player, and feeling bitchy, I decided to ask him how many.

" So... just curious... how many girls did you sleep with last year?" I asked nonchalantly as I did my work.

There was a sudden silence as he thought. " Should be 6." he finally answered.

" Oh honey... 6? I had 50." I drawled.

" 50 girls???"

"GUYS!! HELLO????? I'm not a lesbian!!"

Seriously? If sleeping with 6 is considered a player... then... I'm probably the Patron Goddess of Sluts. 

Unless you have been living in the bottom of the well, or on some remote parts of the Himalayas, chances are high that you would have read about the news about the beauty pageant, Miss Universe now allowing transgendered women to participate after a massive media outcry following its initial termination of Miss Jenna Talackova Canada.

GLBT groups were in uproar, and as well as women's groups, religious group(but of course!) and just about every human rights groups and many other social groups jumping into the fray of the fiercely debated topic.

Personally for myself, I find that I am sitting in the middle of the fence, with both sides of the grass just as green.

The part that is against the decision is that if you were to allow a transwoman to participate in a traditionally female contest, then if you were to turn it backwards, would you allow a transman to participate in for example Manhunt? Would a naturally born female be eligible to participate in a Transwoman contest? Or can a transman join the weightlifting contest for males?

These sex contest are there for a reason, and that is for members of the same sex to compete against each other using sex based traits and skills to determine the winner. I don't think gay men would be especially welcoming towards a winner of Manhunt being a transman and neither would the contestants.

However that being said, the thing about transgendered people is that they identify with the sex that they are supposed to be. They do not see themselves as gay or lesbian. They are simply born in the wrong sex body and want to correct the error. So technically speaking, like for the case of Miss Jenna, she sees herself as a woman in both sex and gender, minus the factual physical sex error. 

So how can you deny a woman her rights?

This is the part where it gets very grey to me. Do I allow her to participate because she is a woman in every right, or do I not allow her to participate because genetically wise she is still male?

I was this excited as the date of our first year anniversary approached; Mr ICC is my first longest relationship ever. It is very shocking to me at the same time because I am never the relationship type much. I mean my longest "relationship" was with a previous fuckbuddy!! That's like an "ideal" relationship to me, just sex and lots of sex.

Imagine to my horror, irritation, anger, and incredibly heartless mind when we learned that his estranged father passed away a day before our date. Mr ICC was already on the flight back to Kuching with his sister though it was too late. So instead of celebrating our one year, he was attending a funeral, and he felt pretty shitty about the whole thing. 

Naturally I did not help by going into full fledge PMS Emo mode. Among the list of things I complained about when he finally came back was that I felt so neglected and unappreciated and unloved. I cannot understand why was he feeling upset over a man who dumped his wife and 6 kids onto the streets, and practically abandoned them all. This was just ridiculous to me and I felt quite pissed off that he chose someone dead over me. 

After he came back, he was still rather subdued and it took him about close to two weeks before he slowly went back to normal. Among the things he felt, he told me that, was that life was short, and he did not want to lose any moments of it. 

I was less than thrilled when he told me that we would not be able to have sex for the next 49 days because of some old Chinese custom. And there will not be celebration of Chinese New Year next year as well. I mean I KNOW such customs existed in the old times, like my grandparents era, but they have all been largely forgotten by most Singaporean Chinese families. I KNOW Malaysian Chinese families are more traditional than us, but this is insane!!!

Again you are choosing the dead over the living, and this dead person was someone who ABANDONED YOU when you were 12 years old!!!! He DUMPED you, your siblings and your mother out on the streets!!!! I am mightily miffed over this, but yet how am I supposed to voice all these out???

I can't exactly go, "Hey baby... your old man is dead. GET OVER IT! I wanna fuck NOW!"

So there I was looking for a fuck when I chatted with this guy about the specifics. Throughout the entire chat, he has made it very verbose that he hates "sissies", and that "he can't get hard with effeminate guys", and that did I mention that he repeated "HATE SISSIES" at least once in each sentence?

He then asks me what time are we meeting.

I said, "No thank you. I am thoroughly turned off by your blatant bigotry. Good night and good luck."

It is already enough that the gay community is facing tremendous discrimination from all aspects of life like religion, politics, work, family and many many more. We have so much external forces against us, and yet we are battling bitterly internally with all these bigotry, be it body type, race, height, weight etc.

How many times have you seen a profile with words like "no femmes" or "no Indians" for example. How many profiles have you seen with words like "no chubs, sissies. no offense this is my preference". 

Oh really? What if someone straight were to say he will not hire you because he doesn't like gays, but no offense is to be taken because that is his preference. You would scream and slap him with a lawsuit short of it, bombard social media on the discriminatory slap you were dealt with right?

I absolutely detest people like that. 

So to the guy tonight that I nearly fucked with... you sir are a bloody disgusting prick of humanity. I hope you get 7 years of bad sex.

Questions asked by thisisdavid


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By now the nation is going agog at the latest "hot" news of the teenaged prostitute who had serviced 80 over men in all sort of professionals, including many in the elite cadre of society, like CEOs of prominent businesses. All the men were named in the media,  with some having full page colored articles in the papers devoted to shaming them while the whore was unnamed and "protected" because she is a "minor".

I am extremely pissed off at this sort of blatant unfairness. So the men were in the wrong for engaging the services of an "underage" prostitute, but the prostitute is hardly an innocent victim! Let's go through the points that made me so annoyed shall we?

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Blowjobs. 

Why is it blow when you don't exactly blow on it is a mystery to me. But it is a job due of all the work you need to put into it to make it a successful blow!

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To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron , will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

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Why do so many tops love long-dicking so much? 

Personally I'm not a fan of it because they tend to put all their force behind each and every re-thrust, and it hurts like a mutherfucker especially when it jabs repeatedly onto your prostate hard! Some in particular fucks so hard that I swear that they are trying to dig for gold!

Tops can you explain why you seem to love doing that? What's with long-dicking that practically all the tops I have been with seem to love doing.

Has the massive popularity of Twitter and Facebook brought about the seeming "death" of blogging? Or perhaps as working adults, especially in Singapore, there is simply too much work to be done in the working environment that it killed off any desire or inspiration to write?

I confess that I am not the most prolific of bloggers for some time already, but these days it seems that it had gotten much worse. For example my LJ Friends page hardly moved an inch even after a few days!! And as I browse through my old entries along the years, many people who were actively leaving comments(meaning they were actively writing their own journal too) behind had all but disappeared into thin air. Maybe some had moved onto other blogging engines? 

Sometimes I admit that I can't seem to think of anything that I would like to share, particularly since I am not the type who writes about the type of food I eat, the type of clothes I like or the nitty bitty details of everyday life. In that aspect I just use my Facebook to update my status.

Has blogging died in Singapore, or just among the gay community? Or just among my circle?

How many of you here have an irresistible habit of the need to reply to every single comment that comes through your blog, Facebook, Twitter and just about every social media online? How many of you here also have that need to answer to every single text message that comes through your phone, with THAT need to always have the "last word" even if it's just an "okay"?

I have. Each time a comment or message comes through, I have to physically restrain myself from replying constantly or at least have that last word, friendly or hostile.

Each time my phone beeps, I HAVE to check my phone. I simply cannot ignore my phone. When I am at my desk, my phone would be on the desk. When I am lying on my bed reading, it's right next to me. When I am playing with my dog in the living room, and the phone beeps, I break off play to go to my phone on my desk or bed, check it, and then back to play.

Anyone else here is like me? I suppose this is what being so closely enveloped by technology does eh?

Me: Baby you know why I don't really recall the day we first met?
Mr ICC: Yeah?
Me: Cos originally we met up for... ahem... you know...
Mr ICC: Yes carry on...
Me: So I don't really remember such things. I keep track of it sporadically but not religiously.
Mr ICC: Is this so important?
Me: YES!

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Mr ICC: FYI its our 1 year soon
Me: I know right! May isn't it?
Mr ICC: No
Me: Fuck! :(
Mr ICC: LOL!

I swear he is enjoying this. Sadistic bastard.

It amazes and shocks me that up to this day and age, you still have people insisting to pigeonhole sexuality into neat little black and white packages.

However the truly amazing and shocking thing is that these people who pigeonhole sexuality are actually gay people.

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You know it's the mid of March 2012 already.

In approximately two months or slightly less time, I would have been together with Mr ICC for a year.

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I was talking to Mr ICC about our future when I suddenly had a thought, and trying not to simper like a love struck ninny, I asked him if we were to get married... am I 嫁 to him... or am I 娶 him.

He looked at me, trying not to laugh, and said, " Of course is I 娶 you la! So its you 嫁 to me lor!"

" Wah!!" I cried in mock anger. " Fine lor... I'll be Mrs Tan then!"

Both of us erupted with laughter on the train and then I asked why the characters are the way they are. This is my guess based on the separate individual characters.

嫁 is the woman finding a home. Hence you have a woman character and the house character.

娶 is the man finding a woman, and two pairs of ears because the woman will be nagging at you until your ears ache! The top right character is You right... that means again isn't it? And the left side is ear right?

That is so sexist isn't it????!!!!!!! Well provided my guess is correct of course!

So anyway... in gay marriages... who 嫁 and who 娶? I mean this two characters are obviously gendered. We use just one word in the English language, and that is marry. But what of the Chinese language? Which character is the more correct one to use in a gay marriage?

In spite of my extremely hot temper, and bitchy tongue, there is a singular soft spot in me that cringes more than Lindsay Lohan facing her charges, and that is animal cruelty.

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I'm pretty annoyed with Mr ICC right now because he just decided to blow off some amount of money to make a loss all in pursuit of one of the upcoming technological toys.

Yes the new iPad.

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I was watching ABC's What Would You Do series on Youtube when I came across the episode where they had a dad and his son in a toy store with the latter wanting to get a Barbie doll; later on the boy was dressed in a pink dress while selecting his toys while an antagonistic actor poses as an "outraged" parent who proceeds to berate the father.

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I saw a short video film about this British(I presume) guy and his insecurities about the size of his small penis, and as I was watching it, in my mind I wondered how did all the small dick tops that I fucked with before feel. Do they know that they got a small cock? How does it make you feel when your btm is so much bigger than you in length and girth?

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